unwillingness unlivingness

Nostalgic in advance of all that I’m living now, I want the time to hault

Misery stricken, I want to cease existing

Sob or cry or maybe just suffocate to this that seems stuck in my throat

Wither away like the petals of an aged flower, with a gust of wind and never to be found again

Go numb to the sun, the warmth or the light

Curl up and die in self infesting sadness

Cling to home and fuse into its belongingness and disappear into it

Cry out the heaviness through the walls of my heart

Fly away like smoke, and dissolve into the universe

Or simply liberate

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